


when we were young

by gongryongs



Category: GOT7, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9147580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gongryongs/pseuds/gongryongs
Summary: Jaebum didn't believe in the concept of soulmates. Not after he lost her.





	

Jaebum didn’t believe in the concept of soulmate; of the notion that every human is made for another and that the world, somehow, will bring them together in a certain point in their lives.  
He still _doesn’t._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Psst, excuse me, can I please see your notes?”  
  
The first words she said to him. College, Korean History, March 2014.  
  
He looked over his shoulder to the girl behind her staring at him with puppy eyes, involuntarily raised his eyebrows, and handed his notes over. He looked at her face and couldn’t help but notice that she was pretty, _too pretty_.  
  
He hated girls like her. Pretty girls who don’t even listen in class, who get into law school because daddy told them so, just for the prestige. He peeked again to see if she was finished copying and found that she fell asleep on top of her notes. He rolled his eyes, took his notes, and turned his attention back to the lecturer.  
  
She caught up to him when the lecture ended and he was walking out of the room. She insisted to treat him to lunch, and after another round of puppy eyes from her, he finally agreed on meeting at the cafeteria 1 p.m. the next day.  
  
  
  
Lunches turned into study sessions, and study sessions turned into get-to-know-each-other sessions. Jaebum wasn’t the type of guy who opened up to people, especially about his thoughts and personal worries. That was why he came off as cold and unfriendly. But something about Joohyun made him comfortable. Maybe it was the fact that she could enjoy solitude as he did, maybe it was because she also came off as cold but was a dork like him, and maybe he just did because she was Joohyun.  
  
Soon enough, he learned that her uncalculated and seemingly rude words were her form of affection; that she wouldn’t be that way to people she didn’t feel comfortable with. She learned that Jaebum was short-tempered, that it had something to do with his pride, but also that he never meant bad when he told someone off. He came to know about her habits when she was thinking hard, tidy eyebrows meeting just above her nose. She learned his favorite food, and the foods he hated, and ate them because “it would be a waste to throw away my delicious cooking”. He, also learned that Joohyun would always miss class on first Mondays of a month, “monthly general check up from dad’s company,” she said, “gotta use all dem freebies, right?” And he would miss her, even when, most of the time, they would meet again at campus the next day (some times she took another 1-2 days off).  
  
  
  
One day, they were planning to study together for their finals, so they went to the library. It was 2 a.m., but there was still a fair amount of people studying there. Both of them was tired, drained, so she was reading her book with her head resting on the table, and he was still sitting up, but also snoozing off, head bobbing left and right.  
  
“I can’t go on like this. Let’s go somewhere,” Joohyun slammed her book closed and said, grabbing his head on its sides. Blearily, he stood up when she grabbed his hand and pulled it, let go of her hand, and walked across the long tables to her side.  
  
“Let’s go to the river,” she said. He just answered with a _hmm_ , still sleepy and all. They wait for a bus, and all the while, Joohyun just looked at him, the Jaebum with half-opened eyes.  
  
They silently went on the bus to the stop nearest to the Han River. He almost fell asleep when she did first, head falling on Jaebum’s shoulder. He looked at the top of her head and he could see her long, pretty eyelashes, her tiny pink lips, and wondered—consciously, for the second time since they talked for the first time— _how could a person be this gorgeous?_ But that time, the word applied to so much more than her physique.  
  
  
  
They arrived at the bus stop and walked to the bank of the river. They sat on the grass, feet extended straight in front of them, both of them facing the river. They leaned on each other, her head on his shoulder and his head on her head.  
  
“I didn’t come here to sleep,” she said, still in the same position. “But I think that’s _my_ motivation though,” he replied.  
  
She lifted her head, pushing his head up, hurting it a little. “No way. Let’s play a game,” she said, eyes opening wide and staring at him while he was still rubbing the side of his head.  
  
“I ask a ‘what if’ question and you reply with what you would do, say, or feel. Honestly. Okay? After you answer, you ask me a ‘what if’ question,” she proposed.  
  
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he answered, eyes looking far to the river.  
  
“What if I pinch you right now?” She started.  
  
“I would be less sleepy, but I would want to leave you here alone.”  
  
She pinched him. He frowned at her. But he didn’t leave.  
  
“What if I fail the exam tomorrow?” He asked.  
  
“You lied. You didn’t leave. Answer truthfully, stupid,” she flicked his ear, “You wouldn’t fail. But if you do, we’ll probably fail together.”  
  
“Fair enough,” he said.  
  
“What if I tell you I’ve been paying attention to you before we first spoke?” She asked her second question.  
  
“Then I would call you a creep,” he said, grinning at her, “does it make you _my_ creeper though?”  
  
“Ew, are you trying to be cheesy? Stop it,” she slapped his back.  
  
“What if I tell you that you’re kinda pretty right now?” his eyes are staring at her. She was pretty. The dim lights of the walking road behind them and the lights of the bridge close to where they were were making her look like some kind of a creature of the night in fairytales. Like a night fairy, or something.  
  
She was unfazed, “I’d say you must be blind if you only realized it now,” she said while flipping her hair.  
  
He scrunched his face, displaying mock disgust. She laughed her signature crispy laugh. She stopped for a moment and continued to ask another question.  
  
“What if I say I love you?” Her face was serious, eyes glimmering and looking far in front of her.  
  
He was taken aback, so he turned his face to her, searching for the truth in her face. His words got caught in his throat.  
  
Silence. Her eyes got shinier, it was brimming with tears.  
  
“I’d say I love you too,” his hand moved to touch her chin. She flinched a little, but he started moving his hand to the sides of her face to turn it toward him. He stared at her face and moved closer toward her, then put his lips on hers, softly. He could feel her tears falling, brushing their lips slightly. Their lips separated and he hugged her, holding her while she sobbed. She sobbed, and he didn’t know why.  
  
  
  
It was a Wednesday, 6 months after that night. His phone flashed in the middle of the night, caller ID showing that it was her. He picked it up, smiling, “miss me?” he asked through the phone, playfully.  
  
The person on the other side stayed quiet for a few seconds. He thought it was odd, but before he opened his mouth to ask, a voice of a middle-aged woman went through his ears. “Jaebum?” the voice asked.  
  
He was puzzled, he wasn’t expecting to hear the voice of Joohyun’s mom through the phone, especially not at this time of the night.  
  
  
  
The news struck him like lightning. No, what struck him the most was that the news wasn’t supposed to be news. What struck him most was that she had been sick for a very long time but he had never known. He hadn’t read the signs. He hadn’t even suspected. He thought he was quick-witted, but how could he be so dense about this matter?  
  
  
  
It pained him to hear that she had been calling his name since she was admitted. It pained him, the fact that she had told everyone— _everyone_ —in her life not to tell him. And it pained him that because of the two reasons, she had been fighting pain while longing for him, and she had _chosen_ to go through that.  
  
He visited her every day after class, getting angrier day by day. Angry with her parents and friends for obeying her, and not telling him a single fucking thing. Angry with her for thinking she would’ve spared him the pain if she hadn't told him. Angry at the God—whichever that was—for making her go through all that. Angry at Fate, for bringing them together. Angry at himself for being stupid.  
  
But being angry didn’t make her heal, so he clung his heart on every beat of the green lines on the monitor and stayed with her, hoping to have a little bit more time with her. Just a bit longer.  
  
  
  
She left on a spring day, April 2016, just a little above 2 years after they first talked.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Jaebum doesn’t believe in the concept of soulmates. If it was true, then she would be here with him. He _wants_ to believe it; he wants to believe that they would meet again in the next life. But he doesn’t, because what matter is that she’s _not_ with him anymore in _this_ life.  
He looks at the name on the tomb in his forties and blinks away the tear threatening to fall from his eyes.

 


End file.
